I love you: Three little words to use with caution

Three little words that have been the subject of thousands of poems, scientific studies, movies, etc., etc. From long before the troubadours, through the renaissance and Shakespearean era, into the modernist then contemporary, and post-modern ages of culture and society and on into today’s digital era, human beings have been preoccupied with these three little words—at times to the exclusion of all else. A quick Google (in quotes) yields over 500 million returns. Try Googling “the science of love” and you will get over 1.5 billion returns. We pine over it, talk about it, write about it, sing about, and on and on. 

So today, I won’t bore you with more pedantic platitudes on the topic, but do want to write about a simpler notion of these three little words. That is the many forms and meanings that people in the North American culture attribute to them. 

We are all familiar with the troubadour-style, “I love you with all my heart and soul, would gouge out my heart with a spoon for you, jump in front of a train for you, need you with every cell of my entire being, can’t live without” meaning of “I love you.” You know the meaning, it is the one that we often see in movies, on soap operas, or read in great romance novels. 

However, what about multitude of other forms? For example there is the, you’re an idiot, but I love you anyway, form of “I love you.” Or what about the awe you really are so darn cute right now, form of “I love you.” And what about the, you are being annoying as hell right now and you are lucky that I put up with you, “I love you.” 

Of course there are the lusty forms. There is the fuck me, fuck me now and do it good form of “I love you.” There is the ooh that was fast, but I love you anyway form of “I love you.” And don’t forget the one that no-one of really likes to hear, the yes I love you but I need space form of “I love you.”

Lately I find myself saying the I understand you not one little bit, but seem to be preoccupied with thoughts of who the hell is this guy anyway form of “I love you.” Hmmm, maybe that one is the natural cultural divide between two nations, ethnicities, cultures, general human experiences and I am just over thinking the whole darn thing. 

Regardless, there are many many other forms of “I love you.” As anyone reading this post will know, too many to list them all here. There are a few more, however, that do beg to be mentioned. There is the, that was the most thoughtful things anyone has ever done for me form of “I love you.” Don’t forget the I am so sorry that I hurt your feelings and am so darn thankful that you are a forgiving soul form of “I love you.” There is the isn’t it cool that we can just sit comfortably and quietly beside one another and not have to say a single word form of “I love you.” And even the I know that was the corniest joke I have ever said out loud and thank you for laughing form of “I love you.” 

All of that said, whatever the form of “I love you” that you happen to be saying today do remember that with those three words, comes great responsibility. To express feelings of love for someone in any form creates expectations of safety, value, and care within the recipient. When we hear these three little words we allow ourselves to be vulnerable in ways that we would not do otherwise. So all of the romanticizing, philosophizing, poking fun at and scientific studying aside, remember that these three little words – I love you—are also the most powerful words in the English language. So, when it comes to these three little words, use with caution!